


Hold This Heart

by bazinga01



Series: Homecoming [3]
Category: The Bold Type
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 06:02:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12315195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bazinga01/pseuds/bazinga01
Summary: “Do y—… What are we?”Kat has a question for Adena.





	Hold This Heart

It’s stupid how nervous she feels. But she’s still not used to putting herself out there like this, to being vulnerable with someone she likes.

And here’s the thing—

Adena has been back in New York for almost three weeks. After nearly three months of being separated from Kat due to visa issues. They’d facetimed constantly, of course. And then Adena was finally,  _finally_  back. It’s been amazing. Kat gets to kiss her all the time now, gets to go on dates with her and hold her hand and see her smile in person.

Which brings her to her current dilemma.

She’s been trying to figure out how to ask her all evening, first at the art gallery and then at dinner. But every time she tries, her heart starts racing and her palms get sweaty and all she can picture is Adena turning her down.

Which is stupid, she knows.

They’re less than ten feet away from the steps of Adena’s apartment building when Kat steels herself, lets go of her hand and turns to face her on the sidewalk.

“I need to ask you something.”

Adena blinks, surprised, and gives her a cautious smile. “Okay.”

She’s wearing a beautiful deep green hijab, soft sweater layered under her coat and scarf, and she looks so beautiful that Kat nearly loses her nerve when she looks into her eyes.

“Do y—… What are we?”

Her pulse is stuttering in her veins, cold air striking through her lungs, and Adena is just staring at her, eyebrows furrowed.

Adena tilts her head, and there’s very little emotion behind her eyes when she repeats Kat’s question to herself, out loud.

“What are we…?”

Kat gives her several seconds to answer, but all Adena does is stare back at her, brow furrowed, and Kat feels the panic rising in her chest.

She feels so fucking stupid. Because clearly Adena hasn’t been thinking about this like she has, and now there’s this aching pressure in her chest.

“Nevermind, it’s stupid. Just, um, just forget I said anything, I- “ Her voice cracks and she needs to get away from this whole situation.   “I’m gonna go. I’ll, uh, I’ll talk to you later.”

There are tears starting to sting at her eyes, unexpected, when she turns around and starts walking away as fast as possible. Adena calls after her but she doesn’t follow, which is both a relief and disappointing as hell.

 

About twenty minutes after she gets back to her own place, someone starts insistently ringing the buzzer for her apartment. She knows it has to be Adena.

She considers not answering the door for a second, but Kat doesn’t actually want to hurt her even though she’s feeling hurt herself.

So she slips her shoes and her coat back on, wipes at her eyes and tries to look as put together as possible when she makes it to the front door of her building.

There are tears in Adena’s eyes, and an anger on her face that Kat hasn’t seen in months. She swallows and—

“What the  _hell_ , Kat?”

Kat folds her arms across her chest and stares down at the sidewalk for several seconds before daring to meet her eyes again.

“I didn’t understand your question. I didn’t understand you, and then you  _left_!” A tear escapes down her cheek and she hastily wipes at it with the sleeve of her sweater. “I cannot believe you just left like that.”

“You—” Kat falters, guilt settling heavy in her stomach. “You didn’t understand?”

“No. Not until after you left,” Adena says, shaking her head. “But I know there are very few things that scare you enough to make you act like that. And eventually I figured it out.”

Kat stares, realizes how much she completely misread the situation.

“You were trying to ask about the nature of our relationship,” Adena says, and Kat reluctantly nods.

“I’m sorry,” Kat whispers, then clears her throat. “For walking away. I just…” She blinks back the tears that sting at her eyes, unwanted. “I like you so much, and I’m  _so_  bad at this, and I—…I’ve been trying to ask you all night but I was too nervous. So when I finally asked you, and you just stared at me…”

Adena reaches forward, holds her face and strokes her cheek with her thumb. “You closed yourself off,” she murmurs and Kat nods into her touch, shuts her eyes.

“ _I’m sorry_.”

“Kat, look at me.” Her voice is soothing, no longer carrying the anger from before, and Kat blinks her eyes open, eyelashes wet. “What was the question you wanted to ask me? Before you asked the other one.”

She knows exactly what Adena is referring to and she doesn’t try to play it off, to pretend otherwise. Instead she reaches forward, holds Adena’s hips and gives her a sad smile.

“Kinda feel like I don’t deserve to ask you after this,” she admits. But her heart still hammers in her chest at the thought, stomach fluttering with nerves.

Adena blinks up at her, gives her a gentle smile and whispers—

“Ask me anyway.”

Kat takes a shaky breath, looks into her eyes when she answers, “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

Adena doesn’t tease her, doesn’t joke with her response. She just smiles this gorgeous little smile and nods, tips up on her toes to kiss her. Adena’s lips are cold from the night air, but her breath is warm, fanning across Kat’s face when she murmurs, “ _yes_ ,” and keeps kissing her.  

Kat circles her arms around her waist, holds her tight and kisses this amazing, beautiful,  _patient_  woman in front of her. Adena giggles, pulls back and rubs their cold noses together.

“Of course I want to. I’ve been waiting for you to be ready.”

Her heart feels like it might burst in her chest, nerves replaced by an elated sort of feeling that she wants to keep forever.  

“Oh, so it was  _my_  job to ask?” she scoffs, smiling, and Adena nods into her forehead.

“I had to be sure it was what you wanted.”

Kat kisses her again, holds her tighter.

“It is. It so  _so_ is.”

Adena laughs again then steps back, looks up at her, shivering.

“Can we please go inside and be warm?”


End file.
